How do we REALLY see ourselves?

When you look in the mirror, who do you see? What do you see? Are you looking at who others believe you to be or maybe you see who you wish you could be or what you wish you looked like? Then you see a picture of yourself and WOW that’s not who I see in the mirror! Self reflection is an interesting process all in itself to say the least.

Magazine covers, television, pageants, movies, society - look what they have done to us as a whole. What IS perfect? Even produce - we are programmed to pick the most colorful, best shaped fruit according to what is advertised. Tons of produce goes to waste every year just because of aesthetics. Animals are left in shelters because they aren’t visually appealing even though they may be the absolute, most sweetest match for someone. Why do we look at everything and everyone so negatively?

So, how do we handle the negativity? The put-downs? The teasing? The increasing animosity of the appearance of one compared to another? The bullying? The hate? The suicides?!

Let’s start with talking to each other with respect and kindness. Stop with the comments like, “they’re sweet but I’d never date them because they’re too chubby and that acne has GOT to go”. Or even, “that person is super fun and trustworthy, I love them for who they are but I’d be embarrassed to be seen with someone so thin and scrawny”. These kind of comments, and worse, are what bring each other down leaving mental and emotional scars and sometimes physical scars from self harm and attempted suicide. Or sometimes lead to a person’s funeral.

So what can YOU do to have a positive impact and help change how our world sees each other? Start by being honest with yourself about yourself. Stop putting yourself down, especially in front of younger kids. Look in the mirror and say, ‘welp, I’m not a touched up photo on a magazine - I’m real and I’m living life the best I can’. Write positive affirmations on the mirror so you see them every time you look in that mirror. Let your siblings see, your parents, your roommates, your kids. Create a positive habit and challenge others to do the same. It’s always nice when others say positive things to you, but you need to receive it and believe it.

Go grocery shopping and buy the produce that others won’t buy. A scarred, unevenly formed tomato is still a tomato, right? A scarred person is still a person. A 3-legged dog is still a dog. Verbalize to whomever you are shopping with or the cashier that it’s a shame so much produce goes to waste because of appearance. Post a picture on your social media before and after you make your meal. Take a picture with your friends or kids capturing that moment in time. That ‘ugly’ produce just made you realize that scrawny, 3-legged dog you passed up at the shelter was actually very sweet - go adopt it!

Now - back to people. You just ate a really good sandwich from produce that wasn’t photo-pretty and adopted the best dog for your lifestyle and you’re feeling pretty good about those choices. Now make the choice to be kind to yourself, to the strangers, to people you may see often but have been visually put off so you haven’t taken the time to get to know someone that may be someone that fits in your circle perfectly and you’ll be friends for the next 50 years. Don’t waste your time, your energy, your own growth, your inner glow or dim your outward shine. Step up and make a difference.

Let’s change our world for the better and bring smiles to each other faces. Help someone who looks like they’re struggling to reach something at the store. Pay for someone else’s coffee or lunch if you can. Hold the door open for a stranger and compliment something about them and tell them to have a nice day. Lifting a person up takes seconds and can make their day.

Now what are YOU going to do about that person in the mirror?